rainbows and moon beams

last year July i heard this song during ceremony. it made me cry so hard for what i was doing and the path i was asking to take. i have cried deep tearful sorrowful cries Everytime ive heard it since for that was when i asked for my heart for find a place for you somewhere besides where it was in the front and in the center. oh the lessons i have learned from that request, that arrogant not well formed request i asked of my heart, my heart which took so long to open and love freely i ignorantly asked for it to not love, what was i thinking...be careful what you wish for because you may have your request granted...oh and i will forever regret that request....forever. the time it has taken me to thin the threads of my requests that weekend and open fully to you has been long, oh so long. too long and your patience has been tested time and time again.

but i knew weeks ago as the anniversary of that date approached that i was in a new, better place. and last night i was at home having a wonderful evening full of energy and love and talking to you as you traveled to playa.. then i heard that ukulele come across on the marley pandora station.

I know THAT song, for it is ingrained and etched on my soul, it Is the song from my visit with grandmother and as it played it did not strike that cord inside me of sadness as it has every time since a year ago..no this time i knew it meant something so different... it washed over me with love and happiness and amazing thoughts of the full moon that night i heard it and of the moon last night. i stared at the moon that July night and closed myself to the moon, i felt i had to as she represented a part of my heart. a part i shared with you.

When you came back so did the moon, slowly and over time she has grown in my life again. i am so grateful i am open to her again; to her rhythmic motions, her guidance, her light, her waves..her love. i am so grateful we share her nightly on this realm and others.

Last night my heart swelled listening to that song...as i thought of you. I dreamt of a huge full rainbow last night...and in that dream i stopped us so we could enjoy it. i so can not wait 2 listen to that song with you, and start following all the rainbows in our life.

til then i share it all with the moon. xoxo